


the two-legged race.

by TyjoBeans



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: A little bit of angst, Amputee, Disembodied, Internal Struggle, Self Acceptance, So is Tyler, a lot of swearing, cripple, josh is missing a leg, thats it, thats the whole story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 04:24:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12927390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyjoBeans/pseuds/TyjoBeans
Summary: it's been one year since josh lost his leg and he's still pissed about it.





	the two-legged race.

josh hated his stupid body.

it was more of a flesh prison than anything else, doing nothing for him except slow him down and make people turn their heads as he rolled passed. because that's exactly what he did; _rolled_.

he hadn't been in a wheelchair all his life. he used to be able to walk and run and jump and- wait, scratch that -he used to be able to do _simple, everyday stuff_ , like getting out of bed on his own and go to the fucking toilet by himself.

it was so humiliating, having to ask for help every time you have to take a _fucking shit_.

and all of this because he was _stupid_. stupid and reckless and too caught up in the moment, too caught up in the feeling of being invincible.

today marked one year since the accident. that's what it had been - an accident. and he caused it himself, so instead of having someone else to blame it on, josh put all that aggression towards himself.

the period right after it had happened had been the worst time in josh's life.

everyone looked and whispered and talked behind his back, gossiping about how one of the school's greatest football athletes had lost his ability to play.

enough time had passed for the other young adults at josh's college to not look anymore. everyone knew who the crippled kid was.

he still got looks though - not so much on school grounds, but pretty much everywhere else he went.

and to make it all worse, it wasn't just that he was in a wheelchair that made him stand out from the crowd, no. the space where his right leg was supposed to be was _empty_ , right below his crotch.

he didn't even have his knee left.

the stump was so short that even if he were to wear shorts he would still be able to pull the fabric down over it to cover up the nasty scars, coloured an angry shade of purple and red.

not enough time had passed for them to fade. it was still fresh, both for his body and mind.

josh had been forced to retake one year of his studies because he missed so many classes while he was in the hospital, but he was too stubborn to give up and move back home.

of course, being a crippled amputee all alone in a state far away from his hometown had many downsides. his parents weren't there to help him shower or dress, and josh was too close-minded to consider hiring an assistant.

he didn't have a lot of friends at college. the people who he used to hang out with stopped asking him to join them when they noticed that he slowed them down, and no one wanted to befriend the weird kid with only one leg.

josh's sour attitude towards life didn't really help, either. if anything it scared people off.

he didn't go to house parties and he didn't sit around after school, just hanging out with the others from his class. he simply survived another school day, wheeled his way back to his small dorm room and then stayed there until the next lesson.

he wasn't bullied or anything like that. people didn't point or laugh and no one grabbed his chair and pushed him around. if someone saw him struggling with a door or trying to grab something he had dropped on the floor, they would stop and help him. they would smile and say "you're welcome" even when josh didn't say thank you to begin with. he would only scoff and roll away.

so maybe not having friends was mostly his own fault, but who could blame him? all it took was one night - one little mistake - and his whole life was turned around. it wasn't that josh was a bad person. he used to be well mannered and respectful, always striving to be a good role model for his younger siblings, and what had that gotten him? a fucking _wheelchair_. so why should he care? why should he waste energy on making people like him when bad things still happen to good people? it didn't make sense.

 

 

it was winter. snowy and cold. wet.

not to mention slippery, especially for a pair of thin wheels.

"no... no!" josh mumbled as he felt his chair starting to slide on a spot of ice, no matter how tightly he held onto the wheels, "stop!"

of course, talking to a metallic chair was no use and before he knew it, josh was laying on his back on the wet ground, staring up at the dark sky.

for a moment, he just blinked, not even feeling surprised or annoyed. everything else in his life was going downhill, so why shouldn't he do too? literally.

he turned his head to the side and saw his chair out of his reach, fallen over with one wheel still spinning.

"great," he sighed, plopping himself up on his elbows to figure out how he was supposed to get up.

' _maybe i should just lay here until i die_ ' he thought bitterly, glaring at his stupid stump that had - to make things worse - started to ache due to the cold weather.

"jeez, are you okay?"

josh turned his head to the other side and was met by a guy dressed in a thick jacket, long scarf and a warm, red beanie that was pulled down low on his head.

even though he was dressed to survive a blizzard, his cheeks and nose looked red from the cold winds.

he was limping, jumping his way forward on a crutch and seemed to be struggling with the snow too.

"i saw what happened, are you hurt?" the stranger asked again as he got closer, moving slowly and carefully on the icy road to not accompany the other on the ground.

"i'm fine," josh spat as a blush spread over his cheeks and across the bridge of his nose.

he had hoped that no one else had seen his embarrassing fall, but at least they seemed to be the only people out there - everyone else was either in class or in their dorms.

"do you want help?"

"no," josh muttered, turning away from the stranger to look at his chair again.

it didn't look broken, so at least that was good.

"alright. do you _need_ help?"

josh sighed loud enough for the other guy to hear before accepting his defeat and nodded.

the stranger hopped over to the wheelchair and, with some difficulty because of his crutch, raised it up and rolled it over to josh.

when josh just looked at his chair without making any move to actually get up the guy seemed to get uncomfortable.

"oh, uhm," he mumbled, looking around, "wait a second, let me just..."

he hopped over to a small tree that was just above josh's head and leaned against it for support before lowering his crutch to the man on the ground.

"wouldn't it be easier if you just lifted me?" josh huffed as he looked at the crutch as if it had insulted him.

what was he supposed to do with a stupid crutch anyways? didn't this guy see that his _entire fucking leg_ was missing? was this some joke just to humiliate him even further?

"oh," the stranger hummed, "well, that would be kind of hard." 

he chuckled a little as if there was something funny about all of this.

josh huffed and sat up all the way, twisting his upper body to stare at the other with great disgust.

he was just about to start lecturing the stranger for laughing at a cripple when he, for the first time, saw exactly why the guy was walking on crutches; where his left leg should've been was nothing but an empty space. his leg was off right above the knee, leaving a stump a few inches longer than josh's.

"oh you have _got_ to be kidding me," josh deadpanned with a bored expression.

"i'm sorry?" the stranger asked as he looked down at him.

"a cripple helping a cripple? can it get any more pathetic?"

the stranger raised a wildly grown eyebrow at the comment and looked offended for a split second before he smiled lopsidedly.

"well," he began, looking around at the empty college grounds, "wouldn't it be more pathetic if no one helped you at all and you were stuck on the ground the whole day?"

josh just huffed and grabbed the crutch with both hands, trying to pull himself up but failed. he felt like crying. this day couldn't get any worse.

"maybe i should get someone that can be of more help," the stranger offered.

"you don't say?" josh spat, more annoyed with himself and his life than with the other cripple, "you're not exactly doing anything, now are you?" he accused.

the stranger pulled his lips into a straight line, showing off a very unimpressed face at the comment.

"wow, what's up your ass?" he mumbled as he straightened himself up from the tree and jumped towards josh before bending down and grabbing his crutch, securing it under his armpit.

josh might feel a little jealous and maybe even impressed at how the guy could move so well on just one leg, but of course he didn't let it show.

"oh i don't know, maybe the fact that i'm stuck on the ground, that is covered in _snow_ by the way, and that i'm missing a fucking leg!" he raised his voice as he spoke, almost screaming the last words as he gestured towards the pathetic stump on the right side of his body.

something changed in the strangers face. he went from looking annoyed and grumpy to... well, josh didn't know exactly what. he wouldn't call it pitiful, but mild and understanding.

"how long has it been?" the stranger asked.

he didn't need to specify what he was referring to, josh understood what he was talking about right away.

"about a year," josh sighed, looking down at the sad-looking stump.

the stranger hummed and sat down on the ground next to Josh, ignoring how wet and cold it was. josh stared at him with big eyes, mouth slightly open.

"what the hell are you doing?" he squeaked.

"i'm gonna help you," the stranger said with a shrug and grabbed the wheelchair, pulling it towards them before scooting himself until he was right behind josh, leg and stump on either side of his hips.

"i'll give you a push, alright? just grab onto the chair and pull yourself up."

josh opened his mouth to protest, to tell the stranger that he didn't like to be touched and that he should leave him alone, but then two hands were grabbing his elbows and josh was pushed surprisingly high.

he grabbed onto his chair and managed to pull himself into it, sitting down on the leather seat with a huff. he grimaced at the feeling of his wet pants sticking to his skin and he was chilled to the bones, but he was actually off the ground. the stranger was stronger than he looked.

"how are you supposed to get up now then?" josh asked, looking down at the other who was still on the ground.

the stranger just smiled and grabbed his crutch, managing to get up with ease. josh frowned. why couldn't he do that?

"do you live on campus?"

josh blinked.

"huh?"

the stranger giggled - _giggled_ \- and asked the question again. josh managed to hear him this time.

"uhm, yeah."

"sick."

josh raised an eyebrow in confusion, eyeing the young man in front of him for a second. he looked like he was freezing and his pants and fingerless gloves were soaked from the slushy snow.

"you should go and change, you look cold," the stranger announced.

' _yeah, like you're one to talk..._ '

josh grunted, or, it was more like a snort - where he blew a quick, sudden breath through his nose in a half-laugh.

"gee, _thanks mom_ ," the wheelchair-forced said sarcastically.

why wouldn't this guy go - _hop_ \- away?

the stranger seemed unfazed by josh's nasty attitude, even going as far as to smirk, like he found it funny.

"oh well would'ya look at that," he exclaimed loudly, big grin on his face, "he does know the word 'thanks', and here i thought that maybe you had a small vocabulary."

josh clenched his jaw in annoyance, biting the inside of his cheek until he could taste blood in his mouth.

"i didn't ask for your help, and now you want me to act like you're my hero or something?" he spat.

"not a hero, but maybe a regular citizen that stopped to help?" the stranger asked.

josh just huffed in reply and grabbed his wheels, starting to make his way back to his dorm. he needed to change his clothes, and it had _nothing_ to do with the fact that the stranger had told him to.

"have you always lacked a decent personality, or did you loose that one year ago too?" the unknown man called after him.

josh stopped abruptly and turned around to glare at the stranger. a lump started to form in his throat and his hands where shaking. he hated himself for getting so upset.

"rub it in my face a bit more, yeah?" he said, voice barely above a whisper, but he knew that the stranger heard him by the way he blinked like an idiot, "who's the real asshole here?"

josh surprised himself for sounding so collected, because all he felt like doing was to scream and cry.

the stranger was taken aback by the comment and opened his mouth, trying to come up with something to say but failed and just closed it again.

"thought so," josh muttered under his breath and turned again, rolling away from the other cripple and back to his dorm.

 

 

josh didn't go to school that day, or the next one for that matter.

in fact, he stayed locked away in his dorm for the next two weeks, ignoring his classes and feeling sorry for himself.

all he could think about was that other cripple, the one with the crutch. he shouldn't've let that guy get to his head as much as he did, but here he was; sulking in his own self pity, smelling like old sweat and shame.

his lump was aching and the scar tissue was red, but his doctor said that that was normal in this weather. it just gave josh another reason to hate himself even more. not only did he have to deal with the mental struggles of missing a limb and the fact that it handicapped him to the point where a regular shower became a struggle, but now it also caused him pain and discomfort? life sucked.

his mother had called once during the week to check up on him. of course, josh had lied and said that everything was great and that he managed to get around in the snow. he told her that he was eating well as he slurped on his third package of ramen noodles for the day and promised that he was taking care of himself.

he didn't mention his encounter with the stranger. it was nothing worth mentioning, right? it wasn't that important.

except, it kind of was.

it was the only thing josh had thought about since it happened fifteen days ago.

questions about who this one-legged man was and why he was on campus grounds swirled in josh's head. he had never seen the guy before, and he was sure that they would've run - hah, more like _jumped_ and _wheeled_ \- into each other sooner if he attended the school.

but what other business could the cripple have on the college grounds if not for classes? surely he wasn't old enough to be a teacher, and he wasn't young enough to _not_ go to school.

he could be new, josh supposed, but it was rare to see people start almost a whole semester into the school year.

josh was awoken from his thoughts by a knock on the door and with a heavy sigh, he called out a muffled "hang on!" as he started to move his body from the bed and into his wheelchair.

it took him quite some time and he almost managed to fall to the floor twice before he wheeled his way to his door, unlocking it and pushing it open.

"oh my god, _really_?"

in front of him stood none other than the crippled stranger, red beanie in place on top of his head, but this time without a jacket or scarf.

"what do _you_ want?"

"huh, i guess we're roommates," said the stranger, ignoring josh's question completely, before hopping into the room without waiting for josh to move out of the way or even invite him in, "do you think it's a coincidence or because the headmaster thought that we would have _so much_ in common?"

"oh no, i don't mind - come in," josh deadpanned to the empty space outside the door before closing and locking it and turning around.

he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the intruder who was, quite rudely, looking through all the stuff josh had placed across the room.

"i didn't agree to have a roommate," josh sneered, rolling up to the stranger and snatching the photo frame he was holding from his hands.

"well, they told me that this room would be _perfect_ for me," said the stranger and shrugged with a lopsided grin.

"of course," josh muttered, "well, don't touch my stuff."

the stranger raised the hand not holding onto his crutch in surrender.

"alright, i'll just leave you alone, got it."

josh huffed and rolled his eyes as he turned around, muttering a " _good_ " under his breath.

it didn't even take a full five seconds before he heard another thing being lifted up and when he turned around the stranger was holding another photo frame in his hands.

"don't touch that!"

"oh get off your high horse," the other waved him off, not lifting his gaze from the picture, "i'm not gonna break it."

josh glared.

"i never caught your name," the stranger continued, looking up for a second before going back to scanning the photo.

"i never gave it to you," josh huffed.

he thought about not telling the stranger his name, if only to be annoying and maybe get him to switch rooms, but josh had to admit that he was kind of curious about the other cripple's name as well. he couldn't keep calling him "stranger" in his head forever.

"it's josh," he gave in.

the stranger looked up with a bright smile and placed the frame back where he found it to focus on josh instead.

"i'm tyler," he said, hopping a few steps towards him to shake his hand.

josh gave him a sceptical glance before he shook it quickly.

"i know we didn't exactly start off on the right foot," tyler said, scratching the back of his neck, "and i'm sorry for the things i said, i acted like a proper douche."

"you don't say," josh muttered with an eye roll.

"but you have to admit that you pushed my buttons too," tyler continued, "i was only trying to help."

"i didn't ask for your help!" josh spat, maybe a little too harshly for the normal conversation, before he turned around and rolled to his bed, stopping right next to it so that he could heave himself into it from his chair.

"but you looked like you needed it."

josh huffed as he manoeuvred himself onto the mattress, sitting with his back leaned against the headboard.

"because i'm in a wheelchair?" he spat.

"because you were lying on the ground and unable to get up!"

tyler pulled his red beanie off, revealing a head full of messy, brown curls that stood in every direction. he pulled his free hand through it, trying to tame his hair but messing it up even more.

"w-well-" josh stuttered, "i didn't want any help and i don't need a roommate, so you should ask for another dorm room."

tyler rolled his eyes and sat down on the free bed with a huff, leaning his crutch against the bedside table and kicking his shoe off in a childish protest.

"i think i'll stay here, thank you very much," he said with a cocky smile, "and dude, you should really take a shower."

"if you think i smell so bad why don't you just leave?" josh spat, crossing his arms over his chest.

maybe it was a little childish, so what?

"do whatever you want, man," tyler said, "i'm just sayin', you look pretty gross."

"whatever dude."

an uncomfortable silence fell over the room and after a few minutes both boys started playing with their phones to get away from just staring at a wall.

josh swore he could feel tyler's eyes on him every few seconds but refused to look at him to find out. the silence lasted for almost a full hour before tyler spoke up.

"so..." he began awkwardly, "one year, huh?"

"yep," josh said, popping the 'p', without looking up from his phone.

he knew right away that tyler was asking about his leg - or, well, the lack of it.

"still new then?" tyler pressed.

"mhm."

josh sounded bored and still refused to look up.

"what happened?"

josh sighed dramatically and lowered his phone to stare at his new roommate, expression unimpressed and tired.

"i really don't wanna talk about it, especially to you."

tyler held up his hands in surrender.

"i'm just trying to get to know you is all," he insisted, before continuing, "i can tell you about mine, if you'd like."

"look," josh deadpanned, "i don't care. i don't care about your name or your leg or... or _you_ , so just leave me alone."

"why are you so _angry_?"

tyler actually looked hurt - really, truly hurt. something about his eyes made him look like a kicked puppy and for a split second, josh felt kind of bad.

maybe he was being too hard on him, tyler did just want to talk after all.

"why do you think i'm angry?" josh mumbled, once again turning his attention towards the screen of his phone.

"look-," tyler began, turning himself so that he was giving josh his full attention.

itchy goosebumps rose on josh's arms when he felt the other's gaze scan him. suddenly he felt very feckless and insecure.

"-you lost your leg, yeah?," tyler continued, "and that sucks, it fucking sucks, but are you really just gonna sit in here and feel sorry for yourself and waste away in this room because of it?"

the grip josh had on his phone tightened before he threw the device to the foot of the bed in frustration, watching it bounce once it hit the mattress.

his knuckles turned white as he formed his hands into firsts before he turned towards tyler, face already red with annoyance.

"i went from being perfectly normal to _this_ , alright?!," he yelled, gesturing with his hands towards himself, "so yeah, maybe i wanna sit and feel sorry for myself because my life has turned to _fucking shit_!"

josh punched the mattress next to his hip in pure frustration and felt it vibrate under him. he angrily blinked away tears that had suddenly surfaced.

it was as if something in him just broke down because now that he was talking, he just couldn't stop. words fell out of his mouth like vomit.

"and i'm _angry_ because it is all my fault! _i_ was the one driving the car and _i_ was the one going way above the speed limit! and now i'm fucking stuck in this useless body and i can't even take a fucking shower by myself!" he spat, "and why did it have to be me that got hurt?! everyone else walked out with a scratch and some bruises and i lost my fucking leg?! how is that fair?"

the room fell into silence once more, tense and electric. tyler blinked slowly, shocked, before clearing his throat.

"would you feel better if it was someone else who lost their leg because of you?" tyler asked quietly.

the silence was so tense that it still sounded as if his voice boomed in the air.

josh sniffled and let out a wet sigh as he angrily rubbed away tears that had began to fall.

"of course not," he mumbled, calmer and more quiet than before.

"because you're not a bad person," tyler said, "not really."

josh huffed out an airy laugh at that, "how would you know? i'm mean to you, right?"

"well.. yeah, but at least you have the decency to feel bad about being mean. most people don't."

josh just huffed out a chuckle as an answer, eyes glued to his sock-clad foot and chin resting on his chest. now he really felt like an asshole. his little tantrum actually made him feel better - exhausted, but calmer.

"i really am a dickhead, huh?" josh chuckled, mostly to himself.

"yeah," tyler giggled, "but it's cool, i get it."

they fell into silence once more, more comfortable now than before. tyler was the first one to break it this time too.

"i was born without mine," he said, "the umbilical cord had wrapped around it when i was in my mom's belly and it cut off the blood-circulation, so my leg never developed."

"fuck," josh whispered.

he raised a hand to pull through his 'once-dyed-now-turned-blonde' hair.

"that... fucking sucks, dude."

"yeah," tyler chuckled humourlessly, "i've learned how to get around pretty good though because of it. for you it's like learning how to walk again, but for me it's the only thing i've ever known."

josh hummed.

"don't you have a prosthetic or anything?" he couldn't help but ask.

he felt a little dumb, asking so many insensitive questions about such a sensitive subject, but tyler didn't really seem to mind, and, well, josh was curious.

"i used to when i was a kid," tyler explained, "but it was uncomfortable, and to be honest, it's easier without it, at least for me."

josh hummed again, showing that he was listening.

the air was filled with... sadness? sorrow? it was heavy but calm. like the whole universe understood just how much the topic effected both boys.

but this was the first time that josh actually talked about it with anyone who wasn't a nurse or a doctor, and it felt kind of _good_. like putting a dislocated shoulder back in place; painful at first, but then filled with relief.

"could you...," josh began but stopped abruptly.

he chewed on the inside of his cheek in thought before he sighed and continued, "could you maybe help me get into the shower? i could really use one."

tyler offered him a kind smile and nodded. he got up and took his crutch before making his way over to josh.

"lay an arm around my neck and lean on me, we'll have a two-legged race to the bathroom."

**Author's Note:**

> so this was just something random that i wrote down a few days ago. i wasn't planning on posting it but then i thought "why not" and did anyways. 
> 
> i'm sorry for any mistakes or weird sounding sentences, i didn't proof-read this one and just kind of wrote it all in one go. 
> 
> please, please, please let me know what you thought about this one shot! should i write more of this au?


End file.
